"Just as you please," quietly responded Pat, "fool or blockhead—it's no matter, so long as yer free to own it!"
GREAT CALF.
At a cattle show, recently, a fellow who was making himself ridiculously conspicuous, at last broke forth—"Call these ere prize cattle? Why, they ain't nothin' to what our folks raised. My father raised the biggest calf of any man round our parts."
"I don't doubt it," remarked a bystander, "and the noisiest."
GO IN AND WIN.
"Ma, I am going to make some soft soap, for the Fair this fall!" said a beautiful Miss of seventeen, to her mother, the other day.
"What put that notion into your head, Sally?"
"Why, ma, the premium is just what I have been wanting."
"Pray, what is it?"
"A 'Westchester Farmer,' I hope he will be a good looking one!"