CATCHING A TARTAR.

An Irish soldier called out to his companion:

"Hollo! Pat, I have taken a prisoner."

"Bring him along, then; bring him along!"

"He won't come."

"Then come yourself."

"He won't let me."

ANTIGALLICAN.

A downright John Bull going into a coffee-house, briskly ordered a glass of brandy and water; "But," said he, "bring me none of your cursed French stuff." The waiter said respectfully, "Genuine British, Sir, I assure you."

IMPRACTICABILITY.