In the campaign in Holland last war, a party marching through a swamp, was ordered to form two deep. A corporal immediately exclaimed, "I'm too deep already; I am up to the middle."
A SMALL MISTAKE.
An uninformed Irishman, hearing the Sphinx alluded to in company, whispered to his neighbor, "Sphinx! who is that?" "A monster, man." "Oh!" said our Hibernian, not to seem unacquainted with his family, "a Munster-man! I thought he was from Connaught."
A HOME TRUTH.
When the late Duchess of Kingston wished to be received at the Court of Berlin, she got the Russian minister there to mention her intention to his Prussian Majesty, and to tell him at the same time, "That her fortune was at Rome, her bank at Venice, but that her heart was at Berlin." The king replied, "I am sorry we are only intrusted with the worst part of her Grace's property."
SHINING WIT.
A buck having his boots cleaned, threw down the money haughtily to the Irish shoe-black, who as he was going away said, "By my soul, all the polish you have is on your boots, and that I gave you."
A FATAL STEP PREVENTED.
A beggar importuned a lady for alms; she gave him a shilling. "God bless your ladyship!" said he, "this will prevent me from executing my resolution." The lady, alarmed, and thinking he meditated suicide, asked what he meant. "Alas, madam!" said he, "but for this shilling I should have been obliged to go to work."