A nobleman having given a grand party, his tailor was among the company, and was thus addressed by his lordship: "My dear Sir, I remember your face, but I forget your name." The tailor whispered in a low tone—"I made your breeches." The nobleman, taking him by the hand, exclaimed—"Major Breeches, I am happy to see you."
ADVERTIZING HIGH.
A tipsy loafer mistook a globe lamp with letters on it, for the queen of night: "I'm blessed," said he, "if somebody haint stuck an advertisement on the moon!"
COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
Governor S—— was a splendid lawyer, and could talk a jury out of their seven senses. He was especially noted for his success in criminal cases, almost always clearing his client. He was once counsel for a man accused of horse-stealing. He made a long, eloquent, and touching speech. The jury retired, but returned in a few moments, and, with tears in their eyes, proclaimed the man not guilty. An old acquaintance stepped up to the prisoner and said:
"Jim, the danger is past; and now, honor bright, didn't you steal that horse?"
"Well, Tom, I've all along thought I took that horse; but since I've heard the Governor's speech, I don't believe I did!"
LARGE SNAKE.
An Indian came to a certain "agency," in the northern part of Iowa, to procure some whiskey for a young warrior that had been bitten with a rattlesnake. At first the agent did not credit the story, but the earnestness of the Indian, and the urgency of the case, overcame his scruples, and turning to get the liquor, he asked the Indian how much he wanted.
"Four quarts," answered the Indian.