Let truth, at least, be counted an essential. After truth, let the candidate consider the necessity of sacrifice. Present-day girls cannot claim much more of that element than boys. If modern women have a hobby more general than another, it must be the development of their individuality. This is a fine thing, but let those who are over-zealous on this point remain single or remain rational, for it is scarcely fair to develop one's individuality to the extinction of another person's rights. To speak the truth, a proper individuality is never oblivious to others. Women would be learned and wise, but they fail to see that the very richest return of wisdom comes from putting forth their full strength where it is due. God has provided that recompense for all dutiful activity, and it often happens that the circumstances that would seem to retard mental development are its greatest stimuli, and the saving of the much-cherished individuality is accomplished by self-forgetfulness.
Marriage is one of the apparent interruptions to intellectual progress—especially a woman's. We often hear of the fine career a certain person might have had, unmarried. Such talk signifies nothing.
In the first place, age does not always fulfill the promises of youth. Many a young man has started well in life and failed through no fault of his companion. A discerning man will not be apt to choose a frivolous woman, though we often hear the contrary. A bright girl, though she may remain single and devote herself to herself, is not sure of a successful career. Some womanly virtues are certainly fostered best in a home. Love is, to many women, what the tropics are to vegetation. On the other hand, there are women who seem to be created for public benefactions and isolated labors.
Concentration in any line of business is bound to bring definite results, but definite, tangible results may not be the best results. A man who assumes some domestic responsibility must abridge his public services, and, as it is only public services that make a show, his life seems less valuable.
"I like you better since you married," said a frank old lady to a young man, and he laughed and answered:
"I used to know a great many things, but they were all wrong, every one of them! It takes a sensible wife to straighten out a man's mental distortions." Doubtless his wife could have reversed the compliment.
The pictures of unhappy marriages are hung in every household which the American press can possibly reach: the good marriages attract no attention. Natural reverence prevents those who know anything about them from telling what they know. We do not talk glibly of God's love. The theme is sacred. Just as sacred, and very personal, is the other subject. No man of sense, who loves his wife, says much about it, even to his intimate friends. What adult, with reason, goes about seeking advice upon matrimony?
Marriage is for persons of mature minds, and it is absolutely an individual matter, each case deciding itself. Let those who doubt concerning matrimony stay out of it. Let those who are already in it, remember that it is a solemn compact between two persons and that any action is unbecoming and inconsistent which does not result to the advantage of both.
The Regeneration of Podunk
By Phœbe D. Roulon