Decent people would scarcely thank us for troubling them with many of the "witty questions and answers for the improvement of conversation." A few must be quoted, however, with discreet selection.
"Q. What said the tiler to the man when he fell through the rafters of his house?
"A. Well done, faith; I like such an assistant as thou art, who can go through his work so quickly.
"Q. What said the tailor's boy to the gentleman who, on his presenting his bill, said tartly, he was not running away?
"A. If you are not, sir, I am sorry to say my master is.
"Q. Why is a soldier said to be of such great antiquity?
"A. Because he keeps up the old fashions when the first bed was upon the bare ground."
THE BATTLE OF AUGHRIM.
It may appear strange that "The Battle of Aughrim," written by an adherent to the Hanoverian succession, should so long have continued a popular volume among the Roman Catholic peasantry. This has, perhaps, been due to the respectful style in which the author treated the officers of Irish extraction. All his contempt and dislike were levelled at St. Ruth, the French General, and his masters, English James and French Louis. Though the style of the rhymed play is turgid enough, there are in it occasional passages of considerable vigor and beauty, and a brisk movement in the conduct of the piece; and sentimental youth have an opportunity of shedding a tear over the ill starred love of Godfrey and Jemima. It was scarcely fair of the author to represent St. Ruth as a stabber in cold blood, but hear the moving periods he makes Sarsfield utter:
"O heavens! can nature bear the shocking sound
Of death or slavery on our native ground.
Why was I nurtured of a noble race,
And taught to stare destruction in the face?
Why was I not laid out a useless scrub,
And formed for some poor hungry peasant's cub.
To hedge and ditch, and with unwearied toil
To cultivate for grain a fertile soil,
To watch my flocks, and range my pastures through,
With all my locks wet with the morning dew,
Rather than being great, give up my fame,
And lose the ground I never can regain?"
Those Irishmen, who, like ourselves, have read and enjoyed this drama in early boyhood, before the birth of the critical faculty, will find it out of their power to divest themselves of early impressions when endeavoring to form a just estimate of its merits. We vainly strive to forget the image of a comely and intelligent country housewife, spiritedly reciting the interview of the Irish and English officers after the day was decided, and bravely holding out the tongs at the point where Sarsfield presents his weapon. Talmash, Mackay, and Sir Charles Godfrey confront the Irish chiefs, Dorrington, O'Neil, and Sarsfield, and Talmash courteously addresses them.
"Take quarters, gentlemen, and yield on sight.
Or otherwise prepare to stand the fight.
Yet pray, take pity on yourselves and yield.
For blood enough has stained the sanguine field.
'Tis Britain's glory, you yourselves can tell,
To use the vanquished hospitably well.
Sarsfield-- Urge not a thought, proud victor, if you dare.
So far beneath the dignity of war.
I am a peer, and Sarsfield is my name.
And where this sword can reach I dare maintain.
Life I contemn, and death I recommend;
He breathes not vital air who'd make me bend
My neck to bondage, so, proud foe, decline
The length of this, (extending his sword,) because the spot is mine.
Talmash. --If you are Sarsfield, as you bravely show,
You're that brave hero whom I longed to know,
And wished to thank you on the reeking plain
For that great feat of blowing up our train.
Then mark, my lord, for what I here contend;
'Tis Britain's holy church I now defend.
Great William's right, and Mary's crown, these three.
Sarsfield. --Why, then fall on--Louis and James for me.
(They fight. )
Sarsfield's declaration ends the animated discussion rather lamely; but what poet has maintained a uniform grandeur or dignity? The writer was a certain Robert Ashton. The play when printed was dedicated, circa 1756, to Lord Carteret, and if peasant tradition can be trusted, it was only acted once. The Jacobite and Hanoverian gentlemen in the pit drew their swords on one another, probably at the scene just quoted, and bloodshed ensued. This is not confirmed by the written annals of the time.
"The Siege of Londonderry" was, and still is bound up with "The Battle of Aughrim," but there is nothing whatever in it to recommend it to the sympathies of the populace. There is nothing but mismanagement and bad feeling on the part of the native officers from beginning to end; and if fear or disloyalty shows itself in one of the besieged, his very wife cudgels him for it.