Mrs. Vanderlyn has left nearly all of her property to Agnes, not only as an acknowledgment of untiring devotion in her last days, but as some amends for the wrong done to her by Martin Vanderlyn. No finer proof of Margaret’s noble heart could have been given than in this generosity to the woman who had supplanted her.
But Agnes cannot rest content in the ease thus afforded her. She feels that she does not deserve it. She longs to make some greater expiation than any she has yet offered for the error of her life. A Magdalen she seems always to herself. It is this feeling which culminates at last in a desire to make the devotion of all her energies, and the sacrifice of all ease the precious ointment to pour at his feet. With this thought, she goes to F. Francis, and proposes to place her boy in a Catholic asylum, and that she may become a religious in some severe order.
“My daughter, it must not be,” replies the good priest sadly.
“Why not, father? I will strive so hard; I think I can be steadfast, with God’s help, after all I have endured. It would be such a blessed refuge, too, from my name and from my sad place in life—perhaps too great a privilege for me,” she adds, watching the unconsenting look in F. Francis’ eyes.
“You have said it, my child,” he replies. “Those who wear that garb have never been in your doubtful position. Besides, your husband lives.”
Agnes’ face falls. She never thinks of herself now as a married woman.
“But if I should become a real widow ever?” she pleads; for the purpose is dear to her, and she has hoped that her boy can be made a priest.
“Even then,” says F. Francis, “that which was your relation to Mr. Vanderlyn would be in the way of your reception into any of these orders, and your boy’s birth would be an impediment to his entering the priesthood.”
Never before has Agnes felt how great has been her degradation as now, when she finds that the all-pitying, loving, and gentle church which has washed her sins and granted her comfort and hope has yet its reservations for such as she and her boy.
It may be taken as a proof of the thoroughness of her conversion that she so meekly acquiesces.