‘For be the day never so long,
At last the bell ringeth to evensong.’
Stephen Hawes.”
“Tuesday, May 3.
“The superintendent has refused to entertain my suggestion about women clerks in the silk department. It would be against McDavitt’s policy. I have written and expressed his decision. So everything ends. I shall never see her again. I am a broken reed. One thing I can be thankful for: Mrs. Benson has not come to ask for me at the store.”
“Wednesday, May 4.
“This evening after dinner I walked over to the address. It is an apartment-house, and it is just such a place as I should think she would choose to live in. Nothing showy, but very neat and quiet and respectable. I walked in front of the house several times before returning. Something expanded in me every time I walked before the house and thought it was the place where she lives. I wonder whom she lives with? Doubtless with her mother and father and perhaps a sister or brother. I picked out a window that looked like it might be hers on the third floor. There was a soft yellow light like the light of a lamp in it.
“But of course I was mistaken. Probably she was out. She must be much sought after, and doubtless goes out a great deal in the evenings. Still, I found my heart lifted up just to walk slowly by and imagine she was in the room with the yellow lamp. I came home with peace and happiness in my heart, and yet with a great yearning. I will not conceal that I had that also. How poorly that expresses my feeling! The power of verbal expression is not my forte.”
The entry of Thursday, May 5, ended:
“She has not replied to my note telling of the superintendent’s decision; but of course no reply was necessary. Walked before her house this evening. Had not expected to, but could not resist the temptation. Have no right even to think of her. Legally, of course, I am still engaged to Mrs. Benson.”