LITTLE STUDIES IN NATURAL HISTORY
| The Secretary-bird, or Loebriole. This little creature belongs to the "Knowitall" class and has no fear, often perching on the "Big Stick" itself. His distinguishing characteristic is a thick oak board where most birds wear tail-feathers. He only sings when there is a storm coming, and then his song has a plaintive note as he warbles "Ki-yi, blame it on me." How to Make Credit Grow. Select a choice "bluff." Prepare this carefully, for the size of the credit depends entirely upon the general appearance of the bluff. When you think the bluff is strong enough, take it to a bank. If it goes there, you will have no further trouble. Your credit is now ready to transplant. Should it begin to droop, give it a check. Be careful not to use too many, for the proper use of the credit-plant is to enable its owner to live without money. | Fashion Note: It is no longer good form to serenade young ladies. If you wish to win their favor, toot an automobile horn. Health Hint: For "Seeing things" at night try a Welsh Rarebit. |
| SUNDAY | (1905) Russo-Jap peace treaty at Portsmouth, N.H.—Japanese description of Portsmouth, "A mos' honorable plaze where they dispenz mos' dizhonorable liquor!" |
| MONDAY | |
| TUESDAY | (2000 B.C.) Proverbs invented by Solomon, who gazed upon his wives and exclaimed, "Variety is the spice of life!" |
| P. S.—Adam couldn't say this because he was handicapped. | |
| WEDNESDAY | |
| THURSDAY | (1258) "Mad Parliament" meets. |
| (1906) Congress "mad," still in session. | |
| FRIDAY | |
| SATURDAY | If a man tells you that he "had darned hard work getting out of bed this morning," the chances are that the bed was a folding one. |
| JUNE | |
| Woman's love is chaotic; man's idiotic. |
DECKLE-EDGE FRECKLES
| Summer begins June 20. By this time your freckles ought to have a good start. Do you know what a freckle is, children? It is a golden-brown splash on the northwest corner of a young woman's nose, although her dearest friend says it is a fright. A freckle is the same to a druggist as a pipe line is to Rockefeller—ready money and a lot of it. One large deckle-edge freckle will cause a girl to buy nine kinds of cold cream, a dozen lemons, a pint of three-*ply acid, and a gross of poudre-de-phiz every Saturday afternoon. All this gives vigor to the freckle. | Incendiary Warning: To save money from fire,—don't burn it. Etiquette Query: Is the game worth the scandal? |
