| SUNDAY | |
| MONDAY | (858 B.C.) Sardanapulus dies on a bier 400 feet high. Great envy among the thirsty. |
| TUESDAY | |
| WEDNESDAY | |
| THURSDAY | July 4th is a great day for those who love to tell us that "all men are created free and equal;" it is also a great day for other Fourth of Juliars. |
| FRIDAY | |
| SATURDAY | (1839) John D. Rockefeller born. "First in the wells, first in the pipes, first in the lamps of his countrymen." |
| JULY | |
| Never look a gift mule in the hind leg. |
HELPFUL HINT FOR JULY
| The best authorities agree that it is inadvisable to attach a pack of lighted firecrackers to the tail of the household cat—without first making sure that the insurance policy on the house has been placed in a cold storage vault. A cat loves its favorite corner when it is mentally disquieted. | Carving Note: A chicken neck served to a guest is "the most unkindest cut of all." |
| SUNDAY | (1906) Lucrezia Borgia rose to assert that she never used embalmed beef at her banquets. |
| MONDAY | |
| TUESDAY | (1586 B.C.) Nebuchadnezzar saw the handwriting on the wall. |
| (1906) John D. Rockefeller sailed for Europe. | |
| WEDNESDAY | |
| THURSDAY | (1905) New song published by Cassie Chadwick, "I've worked every one but father." |
| FRIDAY | |
| SATURDAY | Boy, gun, Joy, fun, Gun bust. Boy dust. |
| JULY | |
| Friendship is between men a convenience; between women, a commodity. |