UP IN MAINE

A thirsty, young sport, up in Me.
Pretended to suffer great Pe.
But when he'd imbibed
What the druggist prescribed,
He said he felt better Age. Note: We demanded a diagram for the above and the author reluctantly provided it. He thinks that any one should know that Me. is the abbreviation for Maine and that to make the 2d and last lines rhyme you will readily read Pe. as abbreviation for pain and Age. as abbreviation for again. We feel much better now and we hope you do, dear reader.—The Editor.		Health Hint:
Those who are always having the hives should go into the bee business. Household Advice:
To keep the kitchen fire hot, keep it coaled.
SUNDAY
MONDAYAdam and Eve began housekeeping, and having neither prying neighbors nor troublesome servants they named their bungalow "Paradise."
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAYA four-flush only wins political pots.
—Poker Proverbs.
THURSDAY
FRIDAYRosa Bonheur born. Rosa painted animals and all of her competitors at the art shows said her work was "beastly."
SATURDAY
JANUARY
There are as good fish in the sea as there are in the fish carts.

FORECAST FOR JANUARY

From January 1st until the 7th, and possibly in some cases until the 9th or 10th, it will be very DRY. This drouth will be followed by a long wet spell. The Zodiacal sharp who runs things during January is Aquarius, which being translated means "water-wagon." The only folks who never heard of Aquarius live in the corn-belt of Kentucky. From January 10th to the 15th, the weather will devote its time to making up its mind what it is going to do. From the 15th to the 20th it will do it. Dark clouds of remorse and despondency will reign during the last week in January, but by February 1st you will have become accustomed and resigned to your old habits. January will also be marked by "white goods sales," and (if it's windy in the shopping district) skirt sails. Gardening Hint:
You cannot raise bread fruit from cauliflour. Health Hint:
If your blood is bad blame it on your ancestors.