The privilege of choice pertains to the other sex; but only after a limited fashion, seeing that with yourselves rests the power to accept or refuse any number of offers that may be made to you.
If you accept, your answer should have a threefold basis. Honest affection to begin with, for, believe me, without this married life cannot be truly happy. It is a life which calls for much self-devotion, self-denial, patience, and the bending of one’s own will to that of another.
True affection sweetens all these things and makes them easy, and that must be a hard nature indeed which does not respond on receiving such proofs of it.
But reason and conscience should each have a voice in saying “Yes” or “No” to an offer of marriage. They will speak, even when at times the girl is unwilling to listen to either of them.
Conscience will ask, “Is the union with this man one on which a blessing can be asked and expected? I have been brought up by God-fearing parents, whose great desire has been that I should be His child and walk as a disciple of Jesus. On this, the most important subject of all, shall we two be agreed?”
I am not going to suggest all the questions which will be likely to come into the mind of a Christian girl under such circumstances; but I cannot imagine one worthy of the name who would give an answer, affecting the happiness of at least two lives, without earnestly seeking guidance from God by prayer and supplication. If, after this, conscience is satisfied, only reason’s voice has to be heard.
“What, are not affection and conscience enough without help from reason?” you ask.
Well, perhaps I should say common sense should have a third voice in the matter. You and I have eyes to see and ears to hear. However young you may be, you have seen and known something of what are called imprudent marriages.
There may have been true affection and unity in aims, principles, and work. The union, as such, may be one against which no one can say a word, except that it will not be a prudent marriage, and can only bring regrettable consequences.
How a young man is to be honoured if he, for the very love he bears a girl, refrains from giving her the pain of saying “No” when her heart as well as esteem for his character would induce her to say “Yes” at all risks!