Howsomever, that bears no prodigality to the story I’m narratin’. So what would you have of it, but Balgruntie, who had heard of the father’s wealth and the daughter’s beauty, took a holy hankerin’ afther both; an’ havin’ as usual said his prayers an’ sung a psalm, he determined for to clap his thumb upon the father’s money, thinkin’ that the daughter would be the more aisily superinduced to folly it. In other words, he made up his mind to sack the castle, carry off the daughter and marry her righteously, rather, he said, through a sincere wish to bring her into a state of grace, by a union with a God-fearin’ man, whose walk he trusted was Zionward, than from any cardinal detachment for her wealth or beauty. He accordingly sent up a file of the most pious men he had, picked fellows, with good psalm-singin’ voices and strong noses, to request that John Graham would give them possession of the castle for a time, an’ afterwards join them at prayers, as a proof that he was no royalist, but a friend to Crummle an’ the Commonwealth. Now, you see, the best of it was, that the very man they demanded this from was commonly denominated by the people as ‘Gunpowdher Jack,’ in consequence of the great signification of his courage; an’, besides, he was known to be a member of the Hell-fire Club, that no person could join that hadn’t fought three duels, and killed at least one man; and in ordher to show that they regarded neither God nor hell, they were obligated to dip one hand in blood an’ the other in fire, before they could be made members of the club. It’s aisy to see, then, that Graham was not likely to quail before a handful of the very men he hated wid all the vociferation in his power, an’ he accordingly put his head out of the windy, an’ axed them their tergiversation for bein’ there.
‘Begone about your business,’ he said; ‘I owe you no regard. What brings you before the castle of a man who despises you? Don’t think to determinate me, you cauting rascals, for you can’t. My castle’s well provided wid men, an’ ammunition, an’ food; an’ if you don’t be off, I’ll make you sing a different tune from a psalm one.’ Begad he did, plump to them, out of the windy.
When Crummle’s men returned to Balgruntie in the mill, they related what had tuck place, an’ he said that afther prayers he’d send a second message in writin’, an’ if it wasn’t attended to, they’d put their trust in God an’ storm the castle. The squadron he commanded was not a numerous one; an’ as they had no artillery, an’ were surrounded by enemies, the takin’ of the castle, which was a strong one, might cost them some snufflication. At all events, Balgruntie was bent on makin’ the attempt, especially afther he heard that the castle was well vittled, an’ indeed he was meritoriously joined by his men, who piously licked their lips on hearin’ of such glad tidings. Graham was a hot-headed man, without much ambidexterity or deliberation, otherwise he might have known that the bare mintion of the beef an’ mutton in his castle was only fit to make such a hungry pack desperate. But be that as it may, in a short time Balgruntie wrote him a letter, demandin’ of him, in the name of Nolly Rednose an’ the Commonwealth, to surrendher the castle, or if not, that, ould as he was, he would make him as soople as a two-year-ould. Graham, afther readin’ it, threw the letther back to the messengers wid a certain recommendation to Balgruntie regardin’ it; but whether the same recommendation was followed up an’ acted on so soon as he wished, historical retaliations do not inform.
On their return the military narrated to their commander the reception they resaved a second time from Graham, an’ he then resolved to lay regular siege to the castle; but as he knew he could not readily take it by violence, he determined, as they say, to starve the garrison leisurely an’ by degrees. But, first an’ foremost, a thought struck him, an’ he immediently called Sandy Saveall behind the mill-hopper, which he had now turned into a pulpit for the purpose of expoundin’ the word, an’ givin’ exhortations to his men.
‘Sandy,’ said he, ‘are you in a state of justification to-day?’
‘Towards noon,’ replied Sandy, ‘I had some strong wristlings with the enemy; but I am able, undher praise, to say that I defated him in three attacks, and I consequently feel my righteousness much recruited. I had some wholesome communings with the miller’s daughter, a comely lass, who may yet be recovered from the world, an’ led out of the darkness of Aigyp, by a word in saison.’
‘Well, Sandy,’ replied the other, ‘I lave her to your own instructions; there is another poor benighted maiden, who is also comely, up in the castle of that godless sinner, who belongeth to the Perdition Club; an’, indeed, Sandy, until he is somehow removed, I think there is little hope of plucking her like a brand out of the burning.’
He serenaded Sandy in the face as he spoke, an’ then cast an extemporary glance at the musket, which was as much as to say ‘can you translate an insinivation?’ Sandy concocted a smilin’ reply; an’ takin’ up the gun, rubbed the barrel, an’ pattin’ it as a sportsman would pat the neck of his horse or dog, wid reverence for comparin’ the villain to either one or the other.
‘If it was known, Sandy,’ said Balgruntie, ‘it would harden her heart against me; an’ as he is hopeless at all events, bein’ a member of that Perdition Club’——
‘True,’ said Sandy, ‘but you lave the miller’s daughter to me?’