The home of my early days was situated five miles from the nearest market-town; and as it was not always convenient to send a servant and horse for the various commodities necessary for a tolerably large family, a regular drudging market man or woman was deemed indispensable. Moll Miskellagh heard of “the lady’s” wants and wishes, and believing her own limbs to be stout, and her memory retentive, offered herself as the “beast of burden.”
“Mistress, jew’l,” pleaded Moll, with the most persuasive brogue imaginable, “sorra sitch a pair ov legs in the whole counthry; an’ for my back, it bangs Banagher for the strinth! As to my karracther, thank God I need say nothin’ about it, as I may safely lave it to my naiburs for its honesty.”
“And honesty must have its reward,” returned the amiable and well-beloved “Misthress,” whose business it was to engage the market-woman. “But do you read?”
“Augh! sorra bit ov me, yer honour,” quoth Mrs Miskellagh, with a groan; “larnin’ wasn’t the fashin in my young days, or I ’spose I’d have got a lick ov it like the rest. But what ov that, misthress?”
“Why, it would be better for all parties that you did read, as you will have so many notes to carry to different shops, and you cannot fail to be sadly puzzled.”
“Augh, lave out the notes, ma’am,” interrupted Moll, somewhat impatiently, “an’ give me yer commands by word ov mouth, an’ I’ll engage for it. I’ll go to the four quarthers ov the town, an’ do yer errands widout a single mistake: bekase why, if I wud happen to forget one or two, I have a way ov me own to make me remimber agin. So, for God’s an’ me childher’s sakes, yer honour, give me the berth, an’ I’ll sarve ye faithful. Throth I’ll drag as much as an ass!”
“Well, I believe I shall try you, Molly,” said the lady, smiling kindly, the appeal of distress never lost upon her. “Thursdays and Saturdays are the days we send to town; be you ready to attend me at ten o’clock next Thursday.”
I was present at this engagement, and though I was very young at the time, never shall I forget the frightful grins with which Moll Miskellagh graced her exuberant thanks, nor her extra-extraordinary curtseys! I have seen an elephant attempt such movements since, and I can declare that the quadruped was the more graceful of the two. The “quadruped!” do I say? I would not vow that our market-woman was not akin to a camel: she was as enduring as one, I am sure, and seldom have I seen her without her burthen behind.
Well, on Thursday Moll Miskellagh was punctual; she came with eyes, ears, and hands all prepared for “town.”
“I am sadly afraid——” began the lady, pausing, and looking doubtfully at her messenger.