THE PRIEST AND THE LADY; OR, TRANSUBSTANTIATION EXPOSED.
A lady once, a Protestant, in ignorance was led
To think she might with comfort live, though to a Papist wed:
But Rome decrees no peace they'll have who marry heretics,
Until their households have been made submissive to her tricks.
It sorely grieved this husband that his wife would not comply
To join the "mother Church" of Rome, and heresy deny:
Day after day he flattered her, but still she held it good
That man should never bow his knee to idols made of wood.
The Mass, the priest, and miracles, were made but to deceive;
And transubstantiation, too, she never could believe.
He went unto his clergy, and told him his sad tale—
"My wife's an unbeliever, sir; try if you can prevail.
"You say you can work miracles—she says it is absurd—
Convince her and convert her, and great is your reward."
The priest went with the gentleman—he thought to gain a prize—
He says, "I will convert your wife, and open quite her eyes."
So when they came unto the house, "My dear," the husband cried,
"The priest is come to dine with us." "He's welcome," she replied.
The dinner being ended, the priest to teach began,
Explaining to the lady the sinful state of man.
The kindness of the Saviour (which no one can deny),
Who gave Himself a Sacrifice, and once for sin did die.
"He by His priest still offers up Himself a Sacrifice."
The lady only answered this by expressing great surprise.
"I will return to-morrow—prepare some bread and wine—
And then dispense the Sacrament to satisfy your mind."
"I'll bake the cake," the lady said. "You may," replied he,
"And when you see this miracle, convinced I'm sure you'll be."
The priest returned accordingly—the bread and wine did bless—
The lady said, "Sir, is it changed?" His reverence answered, "Yes,
It's changèd now from bread and wine to real flesh and blood;
You may depend upon my word, that it is very God."
Thus, having blessed the bread and wine, to eat he did prepare.
The lady said unto the priest, "I would have you take care;
For one half ounce of arsenic I have mixed in that cake,
But as you have its nature changed, it can no difference make."
The priest stood all confused, and looked as pale as death;
The bread and wine fell from his hands, and he did gasp for breath.
"Bring me my horse!" his reverence cried; "this is a cursèd place!"
"Begone! begone!" the dame replied; "you are a cursèd race!"
Her husband sat confounded, and not one word could say.
At last he spoke—"My dear," said he, "the priest has run away;
Such mummery and nonsense can never bear the light;
Apostate Rome I must denounce, and quit it I will quite."
Heresies are views discordant to the truths of God.
STAND BACK.
A gentleman spending his holidays in Scotland was fishing for trout. He had fishing-tackle and appliances of the best description. He threw out his bait all the morning, but caught nothing. Towards afternoon he espied a little ragged urchin, with tackle of the most primitive order, nipping the fish out of the water with marvellous rapidity. Amazed, he watched the lad for a while, and then went and asked him if he could explain the reason why he was so successful, in spite of his meagre outfit, while the expensive apparatus could catch nothing. The boy promptly replied, "The fish will no bite, sir, as lang as ye dinna keep yersel' oot of sight."