The dog is a very different animal. He is really attached to his master, and only lives to serve him. A dog is a perfect gentleman, and I love to fight with gentlemen.
The Apostle Paul, in his Epistle to the Philippians, says,—"Beware of dogs!" c. iii. v. 2. Now, I cannot help always having thought, that he must have meant cats. It is very easy to suppose the Greek word "κυνας" "[Greek: kunas]," may have crept in instead of "γαλας" "[Greek: galas]" and this, indeed, is I believe, corroborated by the folio manuscript copy of the Bible, of 1223, in the British Museum.
Our race is generally said to have come from some of the islands in the Levant, or according to others, from Sweden; but I can ascertain with certainty, that my family came to France along with the Huns, and that my immediate ancestors came over to England with William the Conqueror, in 1066. I consider my blood, therefore, as purely British as any of the inhabitants of the island. There is a tradition among us, that the descendants of the pair who cruised with old Noah, settled in the north of Asia, and that we were to be found no where else for about 500 years afterwards. As to this, however, I do not pretend to speak with certainty; but one thing I know, that wherever man is seen to inhabit, we are to be found—wherever he goes, we attend him. We sent out parties to make discoveries with Vasquez de Gama, Dampier, Anson, and Cook, and although we English gentlemen (who have no blood-relationship with the Norwegians) are known to have such a natural abhorrence at cold, the love of science prevailed, and a strong party were sent to the frozen seas with Ross, Lyon, and Parry. Pontoppidan sagely observes, that "neither the wood nor water R*ts can live farther north than Norway; that there are several districts, as that of Hordenvor, in the diocese of Bergen, and others in the diocese of Aggerhum, where no R*ts are to be found; and that the R*ts on the south banks of the Vormen soon perish, when carried to the north side of it." But we do not reckon Mr. Pontoppidan a historian implicitly to be believed, and indeed the Admiralty took such care of us, that we might have remained for years at the Pole itself, without even having the toothache!
We always accompany the first visiters of countries, and when they take possession for their king, we do so for ourselves; and without being put to much trouble in carrying out stores, we have always the best and the pick of every thing. Often have I laughed at the pains man took to preserve his property from man. Stone and iron are made to do their best-armed sentries walking night and day—when all the time I have, with the coolest composure, been daily wallowing in the best of every thing. Nature abhors a vacuum, and will not allow us to starve, especially in the midst of plenty; but I may safely say, that I never wantonly destroyed, and, if possible, have always preferred the rich man's store.
Before the flood, as the cave of Yorkshire no doubt proves, we were to be found in this island—but upon this subject I shall not enter at present. Probably what is now Britain, was not then an island—I leave this, however, to wiser heads!
In the beginning of the year ——, my parents accompanied the baggage of the —— Dragoon Guards to Scotland. They told me they came in the carts with the sergeants' wives, as being the most comfortable. I was born above one of the stables on the east side of the court of Piershill barracks, or as I used to hear the soldiers then call it, "Jock's Lodge," which is within a mile and a half of Edinburgh. My father was a kind, sensible gentleman, and was much esteemed by all his friends; and I sincerely forgive him for the great desire, and the many attempts he made to eat me up. It was a natural instinct, and poor fellow, he could not be blamed for it. If he had succeeded, it would have saved me many vexations and trials, but my poor mother thought otherwise; and I am sure she fought most valiantly with my father whenever he made any attempt of the kind.
[He might, perhaps, have lived and died in the barracks where he was born, had it not been for his miraculous escape from a hunt by the officers of the dragoons. A few nights afterwards a large band of R*ts made an excursion of several miles, and in returning, remained for a day or two at Leith. "It being a sea-port, they met with some of their own species from all parts of the world, the language of most of whom they could not understand."—He travels in the pocket of a captain to Edinburgh. His adventures in this city are very amusing. He next sails for Holland.]
We set sail in a few days with a fair wind down the Frith, and soon left the Bass and the May behind us. I must confess, I was a little afraid, when, for the first time, I was out of sight of land. It is a dismal thought to have nothing but sea and sky around, and only a frail plank between us and the fathomless depths of ocean. This was my first voyage; but many a day and month and year have I spent on the water since that time.
I was a little squeamish or so for the first day, but nothing like some of our passengers. The great secret I have always found, is to eat plenty, and drink a little brandy; that is much better than all your quack receipts.
We had a dog on board, but he was a lazy, mangy fellow, and gave us little trouble. The wind continued favourable, and on the sixth evening, the lights of Goeree and Helvoetsluis were visible. Some of the passengers left us at the latter town; but I merely went ashore and took a rapid look of the streets, and of the guard-ship, which was in the Dock in the centre of the town, and returned to the smack by the captain's boat. I saw rather a curious scene on board the man-of-war. Some of her men had been engaged in a row the previous night, and were sentenced to be flogged. After being stripped, they seemed to dip each man in the water before commencing the more disagreeable part of the operation. If I had not been in such a hurry, I should certainly have made bold to have carried a biscuit to a poor little midshipman, who was condemned to remain twelve hours at the mast-head for some nonsense or other, and who looked most miserably cold.