CURRAN AND THE MASTIFF.
Curran told me, with infinite humour of an adventure between him and a mastiff when he was a boy. He had heard somebody say that any person throwing the skirts of his coat over his head, stooping low, holding out his arms and creeping along backward, might frighten the fiercest dog and put him to flight. He accordingly made the attempt on a miller's animal in the neighbourhood, who would never let the boys rob the orchard; but found to his sorrow that he had a dog to deal with who did not care which end of a boy went foremost, so as he could get a good bite out of it. "I pursued the instructions," said Curran; "and, as I had no eyes save those in front, fancied the mastiff was in full retreat: but I was confoundedly mistaken; for at the very moment I thought myself victorious, the enemy attacked my rear, and having got a reasonably good mouthful out of it, was fully prepared to take another before I was rescued. Egad, I thought for a time the beast had devoured my entire centre of gravity, and that I never should go on a steady perpendicular again." "Upon my word, Curran," said I, "the mastiff may have left you your centre, but he could not have left much gravity behind him, among the bystanders."—Sir Jonah Barrington.
Bishop Ken.—This English prelate died as he was on a journey to Bath, in March, 1710, in the seventy-fourth year of his age. He had been in the habit of travelling many years with his shroud in his portmanteau, which he always put on when attacked by illness; of this he gave notice the day before his death, in order to prevent his body from being stripped. P.T.W.
Warning to Cowards.—There was a soldier that vaunted before Julius Caesar, of the hurts he had received in his face. Caesar knowing him to be but a coward, told him, "You had best heed next time you run away, how you look back."—Lord Bacon.
Love and Murder.—"Hipparchus, going to marry, consulted Philander upon the occasion; Philander represented his mistress in such strong colours, that the next morning he received a challenge, and before twelve he was run through the body."—Spectator.
Portugal.—Its ancient name was Lusitaenia. Its present name is derived from that of an ancient town called "Calle," on or near the site of the present Oporto, which was called "Portus Cale," or the Port of Cale; and in process of time the name of this port was extended to the whole country, whence "Portucal," or Portugal. Portus Cale was afterwards called "O Porto" (the harbour,) which name the town of Oporto ultimately received. P.T.W.
Perfection of Steam Navigation.—During the last four months, the Firebrand, steam-vessel from Falmouth, has traversed two voyages to Corfu, and one to Lisbon, a distance of 11,500 miles, which gives for the number of days, 66; she steamed, an average of 174 miles per day.
Sore Eyes and Wine.—It was a right answer of the physician to his patient that had sore eyes. "If you have more pleasure in the taste of wine than in the use of your sight, wine is good for you; but if the pleasure of seeing be greater to you than that of drinking, wine is naught."—Locke.
Chinese and Russian Cookery.—In China, if the cook employed in preparing the Imperial repasts, introduces any prohibited ingredients, even by inadvertence, he is punished with a hundred blows; if any of the dishes of food be not clean, he is liable to eighty blows; and if the cook omits to ascertain the quality of the dishes by tasting, he incurs fifty blows.
There cannot be a grand dinner in Russia without sterlet. In summer, when brought alive from Archangel, &c., these cost from five hundred to one thousand rubles each; a fish soup, made with champagne and other expensive wines, has been known to cost three thousand rubles; no water is allowed to enter into the composition of these expensive soups; and the whole company get very merry and talkative after partaking of them.