His Honor: "Get the prisoner's name, so we can tell his mother." Rookie: "He sez his mither knows his name."--Vaudeville News.
"Prisoner at the bar," said the judge, "will you have trial by judge or jury?"
"By jury, your honor," said the defendant. "I'll take no chance on you!"
"What!" roared the court. "Do you mean to say that I would--"
"I don't mean t' say nothing," said the prisoner, stoutly, "but I ain't taking no chances. I done some plumbin' work for you last winter!"--Richmond Times-Dispatch.
There recently died in Illinois an aged farmer, reputed to be wealthy. After his death, however, it was discovered he left nothing. And his will ran like this:
"In the name of God, amen. There's only one thing I have. I leave the earth. My relatives have always wanted it. Now they can have it."