Aw began then to swagger about,
Just to see Castleree aw was itchin',
When Percival gav a greet shout,
Od smash, he's down stairs i' the Kitchen!
Thowt aw, then he's just safe eneugh—
Walking farther, aw meets Bonapartie,
Alang wi' au'd Blucher, sae bluff,
Speaking gabb'rish to poor Captain Starkie.
Rum ti iddity, &c.
Aw gat in to see Robin Hood,
Had twe or three quairts wi' John Nipes, man;
And Wesley, that yence preach'd sae good,
Sat smokin' and praisin' the swipes, man:
Legs of mutton here grows on each tree,
Jack Nipes said, and wasn't mistaken—
When rainin' there's such a bit spree,
For there comes down great fat sides o' bacon.
Rum ti iddity, &c.
Brave Nelson here sells wooden legs,
Iv a shop where aw think he'll get rich in—
Just to see au'd Mahomet aw begs,
But, wi' Thurtell, he's doom'd i' the Kitchen:
Aw seed Billy Shakespeare sae prime,
Of plays he has written greet lots, man—
And there great John Kemble does shine—
Sam. Johnson sups crowdies wi' Scots, man.
Rum ti iddity, &c.
How canny Joe Foster did stare,
As he trotted past me on a donkey,
'Mang lasses still wild as a hare,
And he keeps Jacky Coxon as flonkey:
Ne bishops nor priests here they need,
For the folks they can say their awn pray'rs, man—
But, to myek them work hard for their breed,
They're sent on a mission, doon stairs, man.
Rum ti iddity, &c.
Aw agyen see'd the canny au'd King,
He's a far better chep now than ever—
But, set a' yor fine kings iv a ring,
I still think Fourth Geordy's as clever.
Aw've getten a pass for Doon Stairs,
And if aw see owt there bewitchin',
Wey just think o' me i' yor pray'rs,
And aw'll send an account o' the Kitchen.
Rum ti iddity, &c.
THE PITMAN'S DREAM;
Or, His Description of the Kitchen.
BY THE SAME.
Tune—"Hell's Kitchen."