A shilling aw thought at the Play-house aw'd ware,
But aw jump'd there wiv heuk finger'd people;
Me pockets gat ripe'd, an' heerd them na mair
Nor aw cou'd frae Saint Nicholas's steeple.
Dang Lunnun! wor Play-house aw like just as weel,
And wor play-folks aw's sure are as funny;
A shillin's worth sarves me to laugh till aw squeel,
Nae hallion there thrimmels maw money.
'Bout Lunnun, &c.

The loss o' the cotterels aw dinna regaird,
For aw've gettin some white-heft at Lunnun;
Aw've learn'd to prefer me awn canny calf-yaird;
If ye catch me mair frae't ye'll be cunnun.
Aw knaw that the cockneys crack rum-gum-shus chimes
To myek gam of wor bur and wor 'parel;
But honest Blind Willey shall string this iv rhymes,
And we'll sing'd for a Chrissenmas Carol.
'Bout Lunnun, &c.

THE QUAYSIDE SHAVER.

On each market day, sir, the folks to the Quay, sir,
Go flocking with beards they have seven days worn,
And round the small grate, sir, in crowds they all wait, sir,
To get themselves shav'd in a rotative turn.
Old soldiers on sticks, sir, about politics, sir,
Debate—till at length they quite heated are grown;
Nay, nothing escapes, sir, until Madam Scrape, sir,
Cries, 'Gentlemen, who is the next to sit down?

A medley this place is, of those that sell laces,
With fine shirt-neck buttons, and good cabbage nets;
Where match-men, at meeting, give each a kind greeting,
And ask one another how trade with them sets;
Join'd in with Tom Hoggers and little Bob Nackers,
Who wander the streets in their fuddling jills;
And those folks with bags, sir, who buy up old rags, sir,
That deal in fly-cages and paper wind mills.

There pitmen, with baskets, and gay posey waistcoats,
Discourse about nought but whe puts and hews best;
There keelmen just landed, swear, May they be stranded,
If they're not shav'd first, while their keel's at the fest!
With face full of coal dust, would frighten one almost,
Throw off hat and wig, while they usurp the chair;
While others stand looking, and think it provoking,
But, for the insult, to oppose them none dare.

When under the chin, sir, she tucks the cloth in, sir,
Their old quid they'll pop in the pea-jacket cuff;
And while they are sitting, do nought but keep spitting,
And looking around with an air fierce and bluff.
Such tales as go round, sir, would surely confound, sir,
And puzzle the prolific brain of the wise;
But when she prepares, sir, to take off the hairs, sir,
With lather she whitens them up to the eyes.

No sooner the razor is laid on the face, sir,
Than painful distortions take place on the brow;
But if they complain, sir, they'll find it in vain, sir,
She'll tell them, 'there's nought but what Patience can do:'
And as she scrapes round 'em, if she by chance wound 'em,
They'll cry out, as tho' she'd bereav'd them of life,
'Od smash your brains, woman! aw find the blood's comin,
Aw'd rather been shav'd with an aud gully knife!'

For all they can say, sir, she still rasps away, sir,
And sweeps round their jaws the chop torturing tool;
Till they in a pet, sir, request her to whet, sir;
But she gives them for answer, 'Sit still, you pist fool!'
For all their repining, their twisting and twining,
She forward proceeds till she's mown off the hair;
When finish'd, cries, 'There, sir!' then straight from the chair, sir,
They'll jump, crying, 'Daresay you've scrap'd the bone bare!'