As Jemmy the brakesman and me
Was taukin 'bout sentries and drill,
We saw, clagg'd agyen a yek tree,
A fower-square little hand-bill.
Says Jemmy, Now halt tiv aw read her;
When up cam wor canny au'd Sairgan:
Says he, Ye mun come to the Teapot,
On Friday, and get yor dischairge, man.
Tol de rol, &c.
We dress'd worsels smart, cam to toon,
Mister Government paid us wor brass:
Then we swagger'd off to the Hauf Meun,
To rozzel wor nobs wiv a glass.
We sang, smok'd, and fuddled away,
And cut mony a wonderful caper;
Says aw, Smash! howay to the Play,
Or, what some folks ca' a Theater.
Tol de rol, &c.
We ran, and seun fand a good plyace,
Aye, before they'd weel hoisted their leets;
When a lyedy, wi' gauze ower her fyece,
Cam an' tummel'd ower twe o' the seats.
Aw hardly kend what for to say;
But says aw, Div ye fin owse the warse?
Says her neybeur, Pop Folly's the Play,
And Maskamagrady's the Farce.
Tol de rol, &c.
The Players they cam on iv dozens,
Wiv fine dusty buits without spurs;
And they tauk'd about mothers and cousins,
So did Jemmy and me about wors.
We had plenty o' fiddlin and fleutin,
Till the bugles began for to blaw;
Then aw thowt aw heerd wor Major shootin,
Fa' in, my lads! stand in a raw!
Tol de rol, &c.
We then see'd a little smart chap,
Went lowpin and skippin aboot;
Says aw, Smash! thou is up to trap!
For he let the fokes byeth in and out.
There was Fawstaff, a fat luikin fellow,
Wiv a Miss in each airm, being drunkey;
Then a black Lyedy, wiv a numbrella,
A fiddler, a bear, and a monkey.
Tol de rol, &c.
Next cam on a swaggerin blade,
He's humpt o' byeth shouthers an' legs;
A blackymoor, painter by trade,
And o' dancing was myekin his brags:
When a collier cam on, quick as thowt,
Maw sarties! but he gat a pauler;
Says he, Smash! aw'll dance thou for owt;
Then says aw, Five to fower on Kit Swaller!
Tol de rol, &c.
He danc'd the Keel Row to sic tune,
His marrow declar'd he was bet:
Some yell ower Kit's shouthers was slung,
So they byeth had their thropples weel wet.
A lyem sowger cam on wiv twee sticks,
Then a bussy-tail'd pinkey wee Frenchman;
Next a chep, wiv some young lunaticks,
Was wanting the mad-house at Bensham.
Tol de rol, &c.
There was Punch fed his bairn wiv a ladle,
And ga'd some kirn milk for to lyep;
Then he thumpt it till he wasn't yebbel,
Because the poor thing cuddent gyep.
Some were shootin shoe-ties iv a street;
Lang Pat, wiv his last dyin speeches,
Wagg'd hands wiv a lass, that, yen neet,
Tuik seven-pence out o' maw breeches.
Tol de rol, &c.
Then a gentleman's housey tuik feyre,
As the watchman caw'd 'Past ten o'clock!'
The manny fell into the meyre,
And the wife ran away iv her smock.
The Skipper that saddled the cow,
And rid seven miles for the howdy,
Was dancing wiv Jenny Bawloo,
That scadded her gob wiv a crowdy.
Tol de rol, &c.
Then a chep, wiv a show on his back,
Cam and show'd us fine pictures, se funny;
He whupt it a' off in a crack,
Because they wad gether ne money.
To end with, there cam a Balloon,
But some gav it's puddings a slit, man;
For, afore it gat up to the meun,
It emptied itsel i' the pit, man.
Tol de rol, &c.