Cull Billy, tee, wor lugs to bliss,
Wiv news 'bout t'other warld,
Aw move that, when wor Vicar dees,
The place for him be arl'd;
For aw really think, wiv half his wit,
He'd myek a reet good pulpit knocker:
Aw'll tell ye where the birth wad fit—
He hugs sae close the parish copper.
Another chep, and then aw's duen,
He bangs the tothers far:
Yor mavies wonderin whe aw mean—
Ye gowks, it's Tommy C—r!
When lodgin's scarce, just speak to him,
Yor hapless case he'll surely pity.
He'll 'sist upon your gannin in,
To sup wi' S—tt, and see the Kitty.
NEWCASSEL WONDERS.
Sic wonders there happens iv wor canny toon,
Sae wise and sae witty Newcassel has grown,
That for hummin, and hoaxing, and tyekin folk in,
We'll suen learn the Lunneners far better things.
We've wonderful Knights, and wondrous Hussars,
Wonderful Noodles, and wonderful Mayors;
For as lang as a keel gans down river Tyne,
For wisdom and valour, O A——y, thou'll shine.
We've R——s and V——s, a time-serving crew;
But, says aw to mysel, gie the deevil his due,
For ov priests and excisemen, and limbs o' the law,
There's ten tiv the dozen 'ill gan down belaw.
And whe wad hae thowt now that iver Au'd Nick,
Wiv wor canny toon wad hae gettin sae thick;
That iv Luckley's au'd house he's set up Hell's Kitchen,
Where the tyelyers and snobs find the yell se bewitchin.
There's canny Tom Lid—l, they've myed him a Lord,
For learning his ploughmen to play wi' the sword;
But if ony invaders should Britain assail,
They'll slip off their skins and run to the plough-tail.
We've a Captain of watchmen, he's second to nyen,
He dislikes to see folks gannin quietly hyem;
For if ye but mention the nyem o' Tom C—r,
To the care of Jack S—tt, he'll yor body transfer.