"Don't you think," said he, speaking with the greatest deliberation and solemnity, "I shall appear as a swift witness against you in the day of judgment?"
"I presume so," said one, "for the biggest rogue always turns state's evidence."
David vs. Goliath.
Lord Roberts once found himself among new friends in a London club. There was a very tall man present, who, evidently believing himself to shine as a wit, seized every opportunity of raising a laugh at other people's expense.
On being introduced to Lord Roberts, the wit bent down patronizingly to his lordship and remarked:
"I have often heard of you, but"—shading his eyes with one hand as though the famous general, being so small, could be seen only with difficulty—"I have never seen you."
To this Lord Roberts promptly replied:
"I have often seen you, sir, but I have never heard of you."
An American Woman's Retort.
Lord Sackville was never much of a lover of America, and what love he ever had was considerably affected by his dismissal in disgrace as British ambassador in President Cleveland's administration.