“Birds! Yes, sir, no end of birds, all of the most beautiful plumage and all turned into stone. Even the nests in the trees and the eggs in them were petrified in the most wonderful manner you ever saw. I see some of you fellows doubt me. Waal, all I have to say is that what I am telling you is true, and I’ll bet any sum on it and take you there to prove it. I’ll tell you what I saw last time I was in the petrified forest. There was a hunter who must have been in the forest when the petrification took place, for he was petrified, too, and there he stood as straight as you please, with a petrified gun on his shoulder a-taking aim at a petrified bird. Why, the whole thing was so natural that you could see the shot and smoke coming out of the muzzle of the——”
“I’ve got you there!” interrupted the Englishman. “The law of gravitation would have brought down the smoke and the shot.”
“So it would,” said the Yankee, “but the funny thing about it was that the law of gravitation was petrified, too, and so the blamed thing could not work.”—Tit-Bits.
A PEACH PUP.
“Speaking about dogs,” said Representative Beidler, of Ohio, “I suppose I have the most intelligent fox-terrier in the country, and he’s only a puppy yet.
“The other day he spilled his milk, and I cuffed his ears and chucked him out of the window. Next day he spilled his milk again, and I cuffed his ears again and chucked him out of the window. The next day, after he had spilled his milk again, he cuffed his ears and went and jumped out the window.”—New York World.
THE EMERGENCY AND THE MAN.
“Some people deal with graft about the way a farmer in northern Pennsylvania dealt with an emergency,” said Mayor Weaver, of Philadelphia.
“This farmer called on a neighbor very early one morning. The latter, although much surprised at receiving such an early call, did not forget his hospitality.
“‘Come in, Jake, and set down,’ he said cordially.