“But why,” persisted Mrs. Cunningham, “need he be so obstinate? You see he could go out and stay till two in the morning! It seems as if he did it on purpose to torment me,” and she again burst into tears.
“I have not the least doubt,” said Mrs. Westbury, “that would you yield to Mr. Cunningham's wishes—would you let him see that you care more about pleasing him than yourself, he would cheerfully, and frequently perhaps, accommodate himself to your taste. Few men will bear being driven, and they would be objects of our contempt if they would, for authority is divinely delegated to them; but there are very few who have not generosity enough to take pleasure in gratifying the wife, who evidently strives to meet his wishes, and is willing to sacrifice her own pleasures, that she may promote his happiness.”
“But I can't see,” said Mrs. Cunningham, “why my happiness is not of as much consequence as my husband's. I can't see, why all sacrifice should be on my side!”
“Do you not perceive,” said Mrs. Westbury, “that the sacrifices you make, are made to secure your happiness, and not to destroy it?”
“I don't know,” said Mrs. Cunningham. “I can't bear to have Ned think to manage me as he would a little child, and then punish me, as he did last night, if I don't do just as he says. I don't think it fair! And I don't know as it would be of any avail, should I follow your advice. Some men will be ugly, do what you will! And why should you understand managing the men better than I do? You are two or three years younger!”
“I never studied how to manage them,” said Mrs. Westbury; “but I have thought a good deal on the best way of securing domestic happiness; and reason, observation, and the word of God teach me, that would the wife be happy and beloved, she must ‘be in subjection to her own husband.’ He may not always be reasonable, but she cannot ‘usurp authority,’ without at once warring against Heaven, and her own peace, and respectability. Think of it, my dear Mrs. Cunningham, ruminate upon it, and in your decision be careful not to let will influence you to sacrifice a greater good for a less. It is not degrading for a wife to submit to her husband. On the contrary, she never appears more lovely than when cheerfully and gracefully yielding up her own wishes, that she may comply with his. Women were not made to rule; and in my view, the wife who attempts to govern, and the husband who submits to be governed, are equally contemptible.”
“What an admirable wife you would be for a tyrant!” exclaimed Mrs. Cunningham. “I never heard the doctrine of passive obedience more strenuously inculcated. Indeed, you would make a tyrant of any man!”
“If any thing would disarm the tyrant,” said Mrs. Westbury, “I think this passive obedience would do it, if at the same time, it were a cheerful obedience. But happily, you have no tyrant to disarm. Your husband, I am satisfied, would be easily pleased. Try, my friend, for a little while, to yield to him, and see if you do not meet a rich reward.”
“Well, I will think of it,” said Mrs. Cunningham, “and perhaps shall do as you advise; for really I am very wretched now. O, dear, I do wish the men were not so obstinate! so overbearing! so selfish!”