"Really you speak of your enterprize in the Hotspur vein, for like him it seems you are about to
| ——'read me matter deep and dangerous, As full of peril and adventurous spirit, As to o'erwalk a current roaring loud, On the unsteadfast footing of a spear.' |
But be it what it may, propose to me any reasonable mischief, and je suis à vous."
"It is nothing very dangerous in the performance, and the consequences must take care of themselves. I only intend to smash, and that shortly, the bow-window of our friend the barber—to scatter his perfumes about his own head, and give his next door neighbor, the glazier, a job?"
"Is that all? Bless me, how reasonable! Selden himself could not have advised a more rational and moral mode of punishing this impudent barber.—Why, Pertinax, I did not think you capable of a conception so brilliant. As to breaking the window and scattering the perfumery, 'we may do it as secure as sleep'—and for the consequences, I have nothing to say on that subject, because they come afterwards; and as Father De Rocher used to tell us, questions must be considered in their proper order: besides, all the wise ones say that fore-thought is better than after-thought. But independent of these considerations, it would be inconsistent in me, who never yet gave a thought to consequences, to do so now; and some political proser in the Spectateur, said the other day that consistency was a jewel."
"Then you enlist in the service."
"Yes, my Hotspur; 'it is a good plot as ever was laid—an excellent plot. My Lord of York commends the plot, and the general course of the action.' So here is my hand. We will take some pains to do that which will cost Timothy Crop many panes to remedy; and if we escape the pains and penalties therefor, all will be well."
"We must rely upon our heels for that. Give me six yards the start, and I defy any barber in the Canadas to overtake me. We must show Master Timothy that we have not played at cricket, or run foot races on the wind-mill common for nothing."
"But what missiles shall we use?—have you thought of that, Mon Général?"
"What can be better than these?" said I, taking up a couple of billets of oak from the stove-pan.