"If it will be any relief to you, tell me; but if not, why, do not let us say any more about it."
YOU ARE MY GREATEST FRIEND.
"I would rather tell you. Life is very uncertain on the battlefield, and I would rather not die with this secret untold. Perhaps, too, if you knew it you might be able to help me."
"If I could help you in any way, you know you have only to tell me how."
"Well, you shall hear all. You know that, before leaving Algeria, I went to Paris with a three months' leave."
"Which you never stayed out, for you were back again in six weeks."
"What could I do with myself in that Babylon, where everyone was gay while I was so wretched? How could I stand the sardonic laughter and gaiety around me when my heart was aching bitterly? As soon as my poor mother was buried I was only too anxious to get from that city of luxury, where the artificial lights only blinded and dazzled me.
"I wanted to get away from the noise and the vice and the hypocrisy, and go to the desert and be alone with Nature and with reality, where I could breathe pure, wholesome air, and not that atmosphere which bewilders and poisons you. I left what we call the civilized world to go to the savages whom I prefer.
"I gave up society for solitude, peace for war. I despise my life and long for death, but death does not come at my call."