JANE R. McCRADY
ELLIS MEMORIAL CLUB, BOSTON
Last spring I attended in Boston a course of lectures on sex hygiene given expressly for social workers. The course was given at the request of a number who had been meeting for some time previously to discuss “what women social workers can do now to promote a better knowledge of the meaning of sex in life.”
The course was planned by approaching the subject from various aspects, physiological, psychological, neurological, ideal and simply human. Talks were given by people whose interest in the subject was vastly different—physicians, social workers and mothers, and all showed a spirit of earnestness and willingness to help.
The first few lectures were crowded—overcrowded, in fact—which showed the great need people feel in being aided and enlightened on a subject which touches all to some extent.
When the course was over, there was a feeling of disappointment among some who had attended throughout. Many others had dropped out because they “could not give the time as they were not getting out of it what they hoped for.” What did they hope for? The best answer is that when the opportunity for written questions came, nearly all the inquiries were “What shall I say to so and so when she asks so and so?” “What should be said to a young man under such and such circumstances?” and similar definite demands.
That was the point! People so often want absolute information on subjects in which “circumstances alter cases!” No human being can tell any other human being what he or she “should say” to a third person on any subject at any given time. Each of us has to give of his knowledge which is fed by his experience and modified by his temperament. We give this knowledge (if we are wise) to whomsoever happens to need it in such language as shall appeal to his knowledge, apply to his experience and adapt itself to his temperament. We can not learn how to do that at any lecture or set of lectures, and just as long as we expect it on this or any other subject, we are sure to be disappointed.
The great importance of a right knowledge of sex is borne in upon social workers daily, often hourly, on account of the many people they meet whose lives are exposed to dangers which with either wrong or incomplete knowledge they are not fitted to meet safely. It is frequently the duty of the social worker either to supply the knowledge or help in the situation brought about by lack of it. Often they feel unequal to the task and become morbid over the sorrows brought about by ignorance and their own inability to help matters. Lectures or books on sex hygiene are advertised; to them they turn for assistance. All too often are they disappointed, gaining no concrete knowledge of how to give an answer to problems on their minds at the time. Likewise some people go to a lecture or course given by some one who has been successful in connecting his or her knowledge and experience and giving it out. Afterward they come away thrilled and inspired and proceed to repeat like parrots the words they have heard.
Bitter disappointment at the lack of interest on the part of the audience is the result. I knew of some mothers who attended Laura B. Garrett’s talks in Philadelphia, and came away eager to instruct their children. In each case the result was wholly unsatisfactory. They tried to reproduce Miss Garrett’s words, instead of simply getting knowledge and suggestion from her talks. What they were imparting was not a part of themselves, not their own, therefore not theirs to give.
Miss Garrett has worked out her talks from years of patient, earnest work and hours of thought. She can tell us of her methods and can illustrate, but if we are going to use her methods we have to make them our own first. We must adapt them to our own experience and apply them to the experience of those to whom we are giving them.