“Gentermen, condescen’ to disintergrate frum de vehicle, an’ de quadruped shall hab my unqualified solicertashun, wid abundance ob nutrititious ellerments.” And he smirked at the old man as much as to say: “Don’t dat parlyze you, old man?”
“Hold on dar,” exclaimed Old Wash, and his eyes flashed as he rose quickly to the occasion: “Sonny,” he began witheringly, “it is transparent to de interlactual apprehension ob eny disinterested individual dat de gravertashun of special conceits described on de hypotonuse of your simeon-headed eclipse, am entirely too cumbershum fur de horizontal vinculum dat circumscribes de radius ob yo’ cocoanut-shaped trapezium, sah!”
“Wha—wha—what dat you say, Unker Wash?” gasped the young darky as his jaw began to drop.
“I merely riz ter interjec’ de mental reservashun,” remarked the old man indifferently, “dat de interlectual hemmerage of verbosity procedin’ from de vacuum produced by de metermorphosis ob de origonal superstructure of de san’-stones ob yo’ cranium, am entirely incumpatabul wid de consterpastion of ideas generated by de paralysis ob yo’ interlectual acumen, sah!”
“Gord, what is he sayin’?” remarked the young negro sheepishly to the crowd that had gathered to enjoy his discomfiture.
“In udder words,” shot out the old man again, “ter make hit entirely incomprehensibul to de conglommerated hypothesis ob yo’ trapezoidal interlec’, I simply remarked dat de corporeal superfluerty ob yo’ physical insigniferkance am entirely too cumbersome fur de belly-band ob yo’ mental confermashun, sah!”
Here the crowd shouted, the young darky’s eyes looked like moons, his legs shook, and he gasped out: “Wha—wha—what dat old man talkin’ ’bout, man?”
“How long since this nigger wus cotch in the jungles of Africa,” asked Old Wash quietly of the proprietor of the stable, “dat he can’t understan’ de simples’ remark in de plaines’ of English?”
And then the old man tried again. He rolled up his sleeves, and with the air of one who was trying to make himself exceedingly plain he began laying it off on his fingers and palm:
“Sonny, de equilateral altertude of de comprehenserbility ob my former observations wus to de effect dat, if in de course of a cummercial transacshun, I shu’d onexpectedly negotiate fur yo’ habeas-corporosity at its intrinsic invalidity an’ quickly dispose of it at de exaggerated hifolutiness of yo’ own colossal conceitability an’ hipnartic expectashun I’d have sufficient commercial collateral to transpose my present habitation to de perennial localization of de avenue called Easy.”