Witty Pieces by Witty People / A collection of the funniest sayings, best jokes, laughable anecdotes, mirthful stories, etc., extant

by Various

"Yes."

"We expect to be down early to-night."

"Glad of it."

"But it may be that my mother-in-law will come in on the 6.30 train. If she does we can't come."

Mr. Bowser seemed dazed as he hung up the trumpet and left the house. The last blow came at 7 in the evening. The telephone rang and he crawled over to answer.

"Is this Bowser's?"

"Yes."

"Where's the old man?"

"I am Mr. Bowser."

"Oh! so you are. Your voice seems mighty weak to-night. Say, old man, the three couples of us in this terrace were coming down to-night, but we must disappoint you at this late moment. We have had free tickets sent up for the opera, and of course——"