Simpson (to friend who is lamenting the conduct of his son)—You should speak to him with firmness, and remind him of his duties.

Father—He pays no attention to what I say. He listens only to the advice of fools. I wish you would speak to him!

San Francisco Wasp.


Broke In.


Araminta—You put your arm around my waist so gracefully, George.

George—I have had lots of practice. I was a street car conductor five years.

Epoch.