Witty Pieces by Witty People / A collection of the funniest sayings, best jokes, laughable anecdotes, mirthful stories, etc., extant

by Various

"Lawd, no!"

"How long since you had any fresh pork at your house?"

"Almost before the wah, sah."

"What meat did Miner eat there that day?"

"Coon, sah."

"What about those bristles and hoofs he says he saw?"

Tom produced a small package and opened it and displayed the four feet of a coon and a handful of hair. He admitted on cross-examination that he was onery, but he claimed to be honest.

"Mrs. Andrews," asked the lawyer when she was called, "do you remember when Jackson called about the quilt frames?"

"'Deed, I do."

"Were you cooking meat?"