Mr. de Teeze (returning late from the smoking room, and seeing for the first time the hose stretched)—Wha-wha-whash thish mean? Awful bad, thish time! Oh, I shee. I unishtan. 'Sh all ri. No worsh'n ush'l. Shnakes on shore, shea sherp'ns on ships. Or ri'. Qui' proper too.
—Ocean.
New York can't decide upon a site for the world's fair. An excellent place to hold the fair, after the old folks have retired, is on your lap. P. S.—So we've been told.
—Norristown Herald.