About two o'clock in the morning Mr. Jason was awakened from a dream of being stabbed by a masked assassin, to find his wife energetically nudging him below the fifth rib.
"Oh, Jehiel, I had that wrong," she twittered, in a tone of one who has made a great discovery. "Johnny said his business was at a stand still. You see the point now, don't you?"
"Yes, I reckon so," said the old man in no gracious tones, "and if I feel the point of your infernal elbow jabbing me in the ribs any more to-night I'll go to sleep in the barn. Do you hear?"
"And he didn't laugh either as he promised to," was her reflection as she settled down to sleep again with the sweet consciousness of duty performed.
—Terre Haute Express.
On General Principles.
Weather Bureau Chief (to assistant)—Well, what's the forecast for Pennsylvania?
First Assistant (looking perplexed)—Very confusing. There's a falling barometer in Lehigh, a rising one in Lancaster, easterly winds in Berks and——