A Disastrous Clerical Error.
Government Clerk (to friend)—I'm in a frightful hole. I went to see two doctors yesterday and got a medical certificate from each. One was a certificate of health for a life insurance company, and the other was a certificate of illness to send to the chief with my petition for a week's leave of absence.
Friend—I've done that myself. What's the matter?
G. C.—Matter? Great Scott! I mixed the certificates in mailing them. The insurance company has my certificate of ill-health, and the chief has my certificate of good health.
—Boston Beacon.
The Johnstown sufferer is the latest variety of tramp in Kansas. He bears a close resemblance to all the rest in the particular that he looks as if he had never seen water.
—Kansas City Star.