"Johnnie, my boy, wouldn't you have liked to have been George Washington?"
"Naw."
"No? And why?"
"He never seed a baseball game in his life."
—Nebraska State Journal.
About to Strike Dead Luck.
A small manufacturer, who had engaged in many local speculations, which had always turned out well, had become a person of some wealth thereby. He was rather past the middle age when he bethought himself of insuring his life, and he had only just taken out his policy when he fell ill of an acute disease, which was certain to end fatally in a very few days. The doctor, half hesitatingly, revealed to him his hopeless state. "By jingo!" he exclaimed, rousing up at once into the old energy, "I shall do the insurance company! I was always a lucky fellow!"
—N. Y. Press.