"I'll go you, you blear-eyed monkey."
—Lincoln Journal.
Confiding.
A Chicago gambler, whose first name was George, used to visit a Chinaman's establishment and smoke opium almost daily. One day he rushed into the place and said, excitedly: "Hip, loan me $10. Thanks. I'll come in and pay you to-morrow noon, if I'm alive," and out he went with the money. About three o'clock the next afternoon a friend of the gambler dropped in on the Chinaman and said: "Hip, where is George to-day?" and the confiding Celestial wiped his eyes with the corner of his blouse and replied: "George, him dead."
—Boston Globe.