"Well, these old codgers have no business to be coming around sparking young girls. I kicked out one of that sort last week."
"Yes, but I've found out this man wasn't courting my daughter. He was after my mother-in-law."
—Philadelphia Record.
Successful Speculation.
"Maria," said Mr. Cuteboy yesterday, "I made $20 this morning."
"Indeed," said Mrs. C. curiously. "Did Reading go up?"
"Not exactly," was the quiet rejoinder, "but your brother John asked me to lend him that sum and I didn't happen to have it at the time."
—Philadelphia Inquirer.