"Grindstone," exclaimed Kiljordan, in a tone of severe rebuke, as he leaned wearily over the aisle of the car, "why don't you get up and give that lady a seat? I would do it myself, only I've been doing the work of two men at the office for a whole week."
"My wife has been away from home for two days," answered Grindstone feebly, "and I've been sleeping with the baby."
"Madame," called out Kiljordan, rising briskly, "I'm not at all tired. You may have my seat."
—Chicago Tribune.
Out of Practice.
Lady of the house (to tramp)—You eat as if you never had seen a meal of victuals before!
Tramp—Madam, you must excuse me. I s'pose I do eat awkward, but the fact is I hain't had much practice lately.
—Life.