“Then I wish he hadn't said it; for I shall always be troubled by it, especially as I think it is quite true; no, I can't cheat myself I am going away with a guilty conscience in the matter; my only consolation is that I shall probably have to make great sacrifices for those awful pagans! The doctor has assured me that my life will be one of the greatest self-denial; you can think of me out there as being all I was not here, but should have been!”
“I wish you were not going!” said Virginia.
“I feel that I am passing out of your life, and out of Stephen's; perhaps I shall never come back—I begin to be afraid!”
“Oh, no, that is nonsense!”
“Do you really think so, Virginia? You are such a comfort! You will have Stephen write me, I shall get so much happiness from his dear little scrawls!”
By this time she was dressed for her journey; and Virginia and Jane were busy with her trunks. Anna sat and watched them, slowly drawing on her gloves, and occasionally favouring them with suggestions and advice. She had already recovered much of her cheerfulness; and it was plain that the proper packing of those trunks was now the matter that rested heaviest on her mind.
Down stairs in the library, Benson and Dr. Stillman, and Dr. Stillman's brother sat stiffly in their chairs and watched the gilt hands of the big marble clock on the mantle-piece. Benson, erect and uncomfortable, and monosyllabic as to speech, was finding Mr. Stillman fussy and objectionable; and he had all along considered the doctor generally offencive; furthermore he thought the whole affair scandalous and wholly without justification. But he resented it most on Virginia's account; she would have to take up the burden of Anna's neglected duties in the case of little Stephen; and she already had Jane and Jane's baby on her hands; cares of his providing, that were now a misery to him to think of.
Presently Sam West drove up from the barn and hitched his team. The three men heard him open the front door and mount the stairs. He had gone for Anna's trunks.
Benson heaved a sigh of relief and quitted his chair with alacrity: the doctor and his brother rose, too.
“Can I offer you a seat with us into town?” asked the former, civilly turning to Benson.