It is common ground that sex love between such people should be the physical expression of a lasting affection, and be so intimately blended with the feelings of helpfulness, sympathy, and intimate friendship as to form a union of body, mind and spirit. It further should be associated with the love of and desire for children.
This complex is best secured by the institution of marriage.
All its constituent features, except two, are vividly realised in intimate friendship, and above all, in that unique bond between mother and son which with some of us is the most wonderful thing in our lives.
Its two exclusively distinctive features are: sex love and child love.
These are the real problems before us to-day, particularly the former, and if in these remarks I seem to concentrate on the problems of sex love, be it understood I do so from a desire to save the time of the meeting and not because I think sex love should reign alone in unbalanced supremacy.
And by sex love I mean that love which involves intercourse or the desire for such.
It is necessary to my argument to emphasise that sex love is one of the clamant dominating forces of the world. Not only does history show the destinies of nations and dynasties determined by its sway—but here in our every-day life we see its influence, direct or indirect, forceful and ubiquitous beyond aught else.
An Imperious Instinct.
Any statesmanlike review, therefore, will recognise that here we have an instinct—so fundamental, so imperious—that its influence is a fact which has to be accepted: suppress it you cannot. You may guide it into healthy channels—but an outlet it will have, and if that outlet is inadequate or unduly obstructed, irregular channels will be forced.
We uphold the control of sex love outside marriage by the individual—and that we are right in so doing is incontestable. But let us realise that in practice self-control has a breaking point, and that if in any community marriage is difficult or late of attainment, an increase of irregular unions will inevitably result.