“He sat still. A long, strained silence ensued. Then he said:
“‘There was a time ... when I hoped to receive something from you.... You don’t know what you meant to me. Even now I sometimes feel I must see you. You’re waiting for something.... No.... It’s hopeless.... A downward stroke and it’s all over....’
“‘Excuse me, Rogov,’ I said. ‘You’re really misusing that example from billiards. You’re not an ivory ball but a living man.’
“‘And for that reason, I feel.... As for a ball,—wherever you send it,—into a pocket or a hole, that ivory ball doesn’t care.... But a man, most esteemed Pavel Semenovich, finds it hard to be pocketed.... Do you think that any one willingly and voluntarily refuses dessert?... I wouldn’t.... I’m a man with reflexes, as they say. I see and examine my trajectory clear to the end.... I’ll become a pig of pigs and I can’t reform. At times I think ... perhaps ... somehow ... somewhere ... there may be some ... point of support.... Sometimes you get irritated ... really.... Where is truth ... reality?... Is there such a thing, Pavel Semenovich?’
“‘Of course there is,’ I answered.
“‘How sincerely you spoke. There must be, of course ... there is.... But where? Excuse me, I don’t want to catch you.... You don’t know yourself. You looked once and stopped. That’s why I’ll only ask you for two grivens. Sometimes I may be sitting by a fire.... You’re a man with a soul.... Another time, perhaps, I’ll be able to get more out of you....’
“‘Listen here,’ I said to him. ‘Think now, can I really help you in any way?’ I felt that there was something to him.... He was rather touched, was not insolent.... He became thoughtful and dropped his head.
“‘No,’ he replied, ‘it can’t be done. You’re not to blame, friend. Because ... I, and every one like me, is very greedy. Like swine we wallow in the mire, and we want any one who helps us to be whiter than snow.... You need a lot of strength, friend. You haven’t enough.... A storm is necessary.... To breathe fire.... There are miracles.... But you.... You’re not angry at me?...’
“‘Angry? Why?’