"If there ain't we'll jolly soon 'ave some. Tell you what, Bill: 'Ow'd it be to 'ave one room in the 'ouse rigged up as a bar. We c'd 'ave proper sanded floors, an' a barmaid, an'—an' no closing time. Just for you an' me, so's we could 'ave a drink any ole time. Make it seem more 'omelike, wouldn't it?"
Bill stared at him in hopeless disgust.
"An' I thought you was beginnin' to think!" he said. "This fair takes the biscuit. What low ideas you do 'ave! Why whatever'd the wife think, an' your swell neighbors? You'll 'ave to be'ave like a gentleman, you know, when you marries a lady."
"'Ow'm I goin' to do that?"
"I'll teach yer. You trust me."
"You! An' 'ow d'you know?"
"I do know. It's easy enough. Never you fear, I'll look after you."
Alf, looking a little skeptical, returned to the subject nearest his heart.
"Well, then, when'll I be able to get a drink when I'm a gentleman?"