“Ladies and gents,” says I. “I’m out here to let yuh know what’s comin’ off.”
“Wait a minute,” says Abe Mudgett, standing up. “I’ve got my two sisters here with me, and if anything more’s comin’ off⸺”
“Set down!” squeaks Scenery, waving his shotgun at Abe, and Abe sets down.
“Now,” says I, “I’m out here to announce that the first thing on the program is Mrs. Smith. She’s goin’ to imitate a storm comin’ up, and then Mrs. Holt, Mrs. Tilton, Mrs. Wheeler, Mrs. Steele and Mrs. Gonyer are goin’ to show yuh what raindrops look like. This here⸺”
“Haw! Haw! Haw!” roars Pete Gonyer, but his laugh don’t show that he’s tickled so awful much.
“Haw! Haw! Haw! Mrs. Smith is goin’ to imitate— Haw! Haw! Haw!”
“Haw! Haw!” howls Wick. “My wife looks as much like a storm as yours does like a raindrop, Pete.”
“My wife,” states the judge, standing up, “my wife ain’t goin’ to do no ⸺ fool thing of the kind. I’ll show her⸺”
“Set down!” yelps Scenery. “Set down, you old Blackstone blatter! This is once when you don’t hand down no decisions.”
“Git off the stage and let ’er rain!” howls Telescope Tolliver. “I’ll see it through if I have to wear a slicker.”