“It will be a harmless celebration. I spoke about having you two gentlemen assist, and Mr. Simpkins and Mr. Smith assured me that neither of you had any civic pride. They said that both of you were uncivilized, unprogressive and not at all in accord with any movement that would curb your savage tendencies. I’m sure it is prejudice on their part.”
“Yo’re danged right!” says Dirty. “Them pelicans sure did lie to you in fine shape, ma’am. Piperock don’t mean a whole lot to either one of us, but I’m willin’ to do anythin’ yuh say.”
I’m cautious, as I said before. This here idea of havin’ a pretty school teacher come to us and hoodle us into doin’ somethin’ that our hearts tell us is dangerous don’t set so good. I’ve heard this same kind of stuff before, and so has Dirty; but any old time a pretty girl smiles at Dirty, it’s just another old Garden of Eden and a lot of apples.
She don’t tell us what we’re supposed to do, but she does ask us to promise to help ’em out. Well, what can yuh do in a case like that? Me and Dirty goes back to Buck’s place, where we massages our insides with Buck’s Best.
And lemme tell you somethin’—Buck’s liquor sure tempers the wind to the sheared sheep. Ten years ago he bought a barrel of it. He sells on an average of two or three gallons a day, and that barrel is still over half-full. It has never weakened, as far as we can taste.
After while Magpie and Wick comes into the place. Dignified? My —, they act like a pair of royal flushes.
“Greetin’s, Mr. Masterson,” says Magpie lofty-like. “How goes things this day and date?”
“Well, all right,” says Buck, bein’ kinda dazed. “How did the meetin’ go?”
“Perfect,” says Magpie. “The die is cast. The ladies’ auxiliary is in complete accord with us and we all feel that it will be a day to date time from. Piperock will emerge from her shell and take her place among the cities of the world.”
“The ladies’ what?” asks Dirty.