It may be a friend who will supply the needed inspiration that will revitalize hope, and courage, and the determination to succeed. Or it may be a prayer, breathed in the silence of despair that will inspire the courage to fight on, and change the complexion of life.
Once again we would advise such a young wife to calmly think matters over; to find out "what she is working for"; to assemble her ideals and to "know what she wants." There is nothing organically wrong. It is a condition, not a disease. She is discouraged, despondent, nervous and weak. The discouragement, despondency, and nervousness is a result of reduced physical vitality and lack of system. She is not efficient because she is not a trained worker. She is easily discouraged because anemia or bloodlessness fails to supply the oxygen necessary to a fight. There is no period in a woman's life when she is more apt to fall into a rut than at this time. Every element, spiritual and physical, which is necessary to stagnation and indifference is present, and it will take a bold and brave effort to resist the temptation to failure which has encompassed her.
How can we suggest a remedy? She must first regain her health. She has simply a condition to combat, not a disease, and a definite system, a well laid out plan strictly adhered to will effect the result. She must regain her health, because, without health, she cannot hope to be efficient in work or agreeable in disposition, and she owes both to herself, to her husband and to her child. She must get out of doors. She must walk in the open air. There is absolutely nothing in life that will effect so miraculous a transformation in a discouraged, tired, weary and sick woman, as systematic daily walks in the open air. She must walk briskly, however, and she must desire to get well. We cannot get well if we do not wish to get well. One who walks with a purpose will walk erect, firmly and briskly; she will hold her chest up, and will breathe deeply, and she will drink in hope, and health, and happiness. It takes time to regain strength after
the strain of pregnancy and labor. Many women complain that they feel weak and do not regain strength quickly, but they make no effort. They must make a beginning. Sitting around waiting for it to come will not bring it. If they cannot walk a mile, they must walk half that distance to begin with; the five mile walk will follow in time. Many young mothers get into the habit of taking baby out in his carriage for an airing, and regard this as exercise for themselves. They join the baby brigade and parade up and down the block, or select a sunny spot where there are others on a like quest, and sit around exchanging confidences. These outings usually degenerate into gossiping parties and are a dangerous and questionable practice. They are no doubt good for the baby, but they are morally and physically bad for the young mother. This daily habit is called exercise, but it is in no sense physical exercise. The young mother should select a certain time each day, immediately after a nursing when baby is likely to sleep, and devote this period to walking. One hour each day will accomplish much in regaining and establishing health and strength, and appetite for the mother. No indoor work can take the place of a walk out of doors. It is a duty on the part of the nursing mother to do this. It will enable her to supply better milk; it will banish her tendency to nervousness; it will ensure a good appetite, good spirits, and sound sleep. It will make her a better mother and a better wife. Many young wives sow the first seeds of discontent, and ultimate failure during the natural depression that follows maternity.
She must adopt system in the performance of her household duties. A good plan is to set aside a certain definite time for meals, when to begin cooking and when to end washing the dishes. Then arrange regarding the general household duties. Make a schedule for a week devoting each day to a certain task so that at the end of the week all the essential work will have been completed. By systematizing work in this way a great deal of ground can be covered and as time passes it will become easier, as many helpful ways will suggest themselves whereby time will be economized.
Adopt a system with the baby. Many mothers are worn-out, nervous wrecks for no other reason than a lack of system in the management of the daily life of their offspring. If system is not adopted in feeding and caring for an infant it becomes irritable. To a sick, tired, weary mother an irritable child is an unspeakable torture. Begin right. Give it adequate, but no unnecessary attention. Nurse it every two hours, and at no other time. Wake it to nurse at its regular time. It will in a few days acquire the habit of feeding regularly and will sleep between feedings. Do not overfeed it. Remember babies never die from starvation, but many do by overkindness, and overfeeding is the most prolific cause of infant mortality known. Read the article on "How long should a baby nurse?" Keep the baby clean, comfortable and happy and you will not have a fretful child, but one that will be a constant inspiration and incentive to you.
Find time to rest, take a mid-day nap. Get off occasionally to the country or the sea shore for a day or two. Keep up your interest in your personal appearance, be neat and clean, and invite the attention of your husband during the evening hour. Don't let him grow away from you. Be cheerful, encourage him to tell of his hopes and plans, and show an interest in his health and in his work. Do not forget the dominating influence on your efficiency, and on your happiness which the study habit possesses. Interest yourself in some art, cultivate your mind, and soon, sooner than you think, you will have forgotten your troubles and you will have regained your health.
There is no other way to do it. There is no royal way in which it can be done which is not open to the poorest mother.
An ocean voyage, a trip to Europe, a society Doctor, a professional masseur, beauty experts and miracle workers cannot accomplish more than you can in your poor apartment, if you "go about it in the right way and in the right spirit." Keep in mind always, that: "failure exists only in acknowledging it." Every task that is worth while is won by self-sacrifice, by self-abnegation, by patient, persistent, enthusiastic effort, and in no other way. The joy of consummation is reward enough for all human sacrifice.