The Rev.—— D——, over 82 years of age, practised medicine for many years, when he moved west. He became a minister and did preach for ten years in the State of Wyoming. He then retired from the pulpit and opened a marriage bureau. He received $10.00 when he gave his testimonial "to get his picture taken."
The Rev. —— H—— occupied the pulpit of the Church of Eternal Hope of B——, Pa. He retired to enter politics a number of years ago, and is now a deputy Internal Revenue collector. He is a spiritualist. He owned race horses and was a patron of the turf.
The Rev. McL—— lived in G——, Mich. There are 893 people in the township and it is not even on the railroad line. Mr. McL—— was allowed to resign from the fellowship after being called to trial for endorsing ——'s pure malt whisky.
If these three gentlemen were brought on the stage of any city vaudeville theater and introduced as distinguished divines it would be regarded as a joke—which it really is. If we relegate our "distinguished divines" to marriage bureaus, or the race track, or to the Internal Revenue service, or to preach to flocks in townships of less than one thousand and not on the railroad, the outlook for the ministerial profession is far from encouraging. To tell us that these men spent their lives "in uplifting their fallen brethren" is imposing upon the good nature of one's audience. It is simply one more evidence added to the long list already noted that one does not readily acquire the habit of expecting to read the truth in a patent medicine advertisement. Rather the reverse. We examine them in expectant curiosity to note their unique and devilish ability to tell picturesque falsehoods.
Certain famous pills are advertised extensively in Great Britain and in the United States. It is claimed by the manufacturers that they are "composed entirely of medicinal herbs" and that they will "cure" constipation, pains in the back, cold chills, bad legs, maladies of indiscretion, kidney and urinary disorders—and several other things.
These pills were analyzed by the British Medical Association's chemists, who reported that they consisted of ginger, soap, and aloes. Where the "medicinal herbs" were it was hard to say.
In large and lurid letters we are informed in the advertisements that these pills are "worth a guinea ($5.00) a box." The retail price is 27 cents a box. The British Medical Association's chemist states that the cost of these pills is one-quarter of a cent per box. Quite a fair margin of profit considering the high cost of living these days!