There has been much talk the last three or four years about the economies effected by the Postoffice Department in the execution of the work it was established to do. How much of this talk is grounded on fact and how much of it is mere political gargle and party and administration “fan”-talk I shall not here attempt to say. Time has not permitted me to look into these averred economies carefully and thoroughly enough to warrant positive statements from me anent them here. I am inclined to believe, however, that the present Postmaster General, Mr. Hitchcock, and his immediate predecessors, Mr. Meyer and Mr. Cortelyou, have really accomplished a little in the right direction—a little, where the Lord knows we should know there was much to accomplish. But, as stated, my favorable opinion is not based on what I have dug up myself about these economies alleged to have been effected in the recently passed years. If they have been effected, their accomplishment only goes to prove that advocates of a cheap parcels post in this country have been right in their facts and arguments, and also that their exposures and severe condemnation of the waste, extravagance, grafting and stealing in the postal service were timely and well deserved.
Something, however, has, I think, been done. The exposure of criminal crookedness, grafting, waste and thievery which existed in the department—with administrative employes, officers, Congressmen and Senators, either directly or collusively connected with it—was bound to wipe some leaking joints in the service. The exposures uncovered so much porch-climbing and so much nastiness that most decent citizens were holding their noses and thinking of buying a gun. Something had to be done. The noise and injured-innocence “holler,” which railroad and express company raiders are vocalizing and printing, is pretty good evidence not only that some little has been done to them, but also that they fear more is going to be done to jam the gear or otherwise interfere with the smooth running of some one or more of their high-speed, noiseless-action cream separators. And more will be done if the people keep on the mat and keep swinging for the jaw and plexus. But it is not all done yet. The raiders may be squealing and squirming a little. They always do when a little hurt. But they are still busy—still actively after the cream. They may spar a little for time, but they will use the time actively in figuring out a new entrance into the people’s milk house.
And these raiders will find a way to get in, too, if the people pull up the blankets and let themselves be talked and foozled to sleep.
TOUTING FOR “FAST MAIL.”
There appears to be much talk about “fast mail” service. Of course if the railways are already running at a destructive loss on mail weight and space-rental pay—which they are not—why they will want more pay if they furnish a fast mail service. The postal authorities (official) seem to think that a “fast mail” is a thing altogether lovely and much to be desired. The railroad carriers are of like mind, but—well, such service costs more money. They want more money. A fast mail is just the thing the people want and need! It will push the corn crop ahead and keep the frost off the peaches!
For these and other equally easy reasons it is sought to steer the people into making a scream for a “fast mail” service. They want and need their mail in a hurry. The quicker the better. In fact, from the way some people are already talking, it would appear they want their mail delivered about twenty-four hours before it starts in their direction.
If the cream-skimming raiders and their “public servant” assistants can only get the people to talking for a “fast mail” service, why a fast mail we will have, and we will pay the raiders for furnishing it.
How will we pay them?
Oh, that is easy. Bonuses and subsidies are popular fashions in federal legislative society. Likewise they appear to be popular in postoffice circles. They are seasonable the year around and are cut to fit any figure. They don’t stand the wash very well, but—well, don’t wash them. The raiders and their official valets always keep them brushed up and vacuum cleaned. Just pay for them is all the people have to do.
I recall a serviceable subsidized fast mail gown which was handed to a railroad between Kansas City, Mo., and Newton, Kan., some years since. It was neatly boxed and delivered by the handlers of postoffice appropriations. It was worth $25,000 a year to the road that got it.