Mrs. Coutts, wife of the eminent banker, and previously Miss Mellon, the celebrated actress, made her appearance one day at one of the principal promenades in Edinburgh, dressed in a most magnificent style, so as to quite overawe our northern neighbors. "Hoot, mon," said a gentleman standing by, who did not know who she was, "yon's a braw lady; she'll be a countess, I'm thinking." "No," replied an eminent banker, "not just a countess, but what's better, a dis-countess."
Remembering Each Other
Mr. Miller, of Ballumbie, had occasion to find fault with one of his laborers, who had been improvident, and known better days. He was digging a drain, and he told him if he did not make better work he should turn him off. The man was very angry, and throwing down his spade, called out in a tone of resentment, "Ye are ower pridefeu', Davie Miller. I mind ye i' the warld when ye had neither cow nor ewe." "Very well," replied Mr. Miller, mildly, "I remember you when you had both."
Marriages Which are Made in Heaven—How Revealed
Archbishop Leighton never was married. While he held the See of Dumblane, he was of course a subject of considerable interest to the celibate ladies in the neighborhood. One day he received a visit from one of them who had reached the age of desperation. Her manner was solemn though somewhat embarrassed; it was evident from the first that there was something very particular on her mind. The good bishop spoke with his usual kindness, encouraged her to be communicative, and by and by drew from her that she had had a very strange dream, or rather, as she thought, a revelation from heaven. On further questioning, she confessed that it had been intimated to her that she was to be united in marriage to the bishop. One may imagine what a start this gave to the quiet scholar, who had long ago married his books, and never thought of any other bride. He recovered, however, and very gently addressing her, said that "Doubtless these intimations were not to be despised. As yet, however, the designs of heaven were but imperfectly explained, as they had been revealed to only one of the parties. He would wait to see if any similar communication should be made to himself, and whenever it happened he would be sure to let her know." Nothing could be more admirable than this humor, except perhaps the benevolence shown in so bringing an estimable woman off from a false position. [[9]]
Not Up to Sample
"How did it happen," asked a lady of a very silly Scotch nobleman, "that the Scots who came out of their own country were, generally speaking, men of more ability than those who remained at home?"
"Oh, madam," said he, "the reason is obvious. At every outlet there are persons stationed to examine all who pass, that for the honor of the country, no one be permitted to leave it who is not a man of understanding."
"Then," said she, "I suppose your lordship was smuggled."
The Queen's Daughters—or "Appearances Were Against Them"