"Na, na," said a boatman; "the little ane can pray, if he likes, but the big ane must tak' an oar!" [[10]]
"There Maun be Some Faut"
Old Mr. Downie, the parish minister of Banchory, was noted in my earliest days for his quiet pithy remarks on men and things as they came before him. His reply to his son, of whose social position he had no very exaulted opinion, was of this class. Young Downie had come to visit his father from the West Indies, and told him that on his return he was to be married to a lady whose high qualities and position he spoke of in extravagant terms. He assured his father that she was "quite young, was very rich, and very beautiful."
"Aweel, Jemmy," said the old man, very quietly and very slily, "I'm thinking there maun be some faut." [[7]]
Deathbed Humor
The late Mr. Constable used to visit an old lady who was much attenuated by long illness, and on going upstairs one tremendously hot afternoon, the daughter was driving the flies away, saying: "These flies will eat up a' that remains o' my puir mither." The old lady opened her eyes, and the last words she spoke were: "What's left's good eneuch for them."
A Matter-of-Fact Death Scene
The Scottish people, without the least intention or purpose of being irreverent or unfeeling, often approach the awful question connected with the funerals of friends in a cool matter-of-fact manner. A tenant of Mr. George Lyon, of Wester Ogil, when on his death-bed, and his end near at hand, was thus addressed by his wife: "Willie, Willie, as lang as ye can speak, tell us are ye for your burial baps round or square?" Willie, having responded to this inquiry, was next asked if the murners were to have glooves or mittens—the latter having only a thumb-piece; and Willie, having answered, was allowed to depart in peace.
Acts of Parliament "Exhausted"
A junior minister having to assist at a church in a remote part of Aberdeenshire, the parochial minister (one of the old school) promised his young friend a good glass of whiskey-toddy after all was over, adding slily and very significantly, "and gude smuggled whiskey."